Nervous Wreck Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

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What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

What is quivering at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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Why do I always sit in the back of an airplane?

Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out...

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What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

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What lies in a pram and wobbles?

A jelly baby.

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Because he is lying.

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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

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What letter stands for the ocean?

The letter C.

What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?

The ocean

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What did the sea say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?

Jack the kipper !

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Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture