Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs who's rolling down a hill?

Rick O'Shay.

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

What do you call a dead blond in the closet?

last year's hide &amp seek! :D

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Nervous Wreck Jokes More Nervous Wreck Jokes

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

What is quivering at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land does not wave back.

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!"

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is robin going to get for Christmas?

An oviposition set

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.