Norse Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

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Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

With a low-key event

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl."

Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

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How did Vikings send secret messages?

By Norse code!

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

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What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

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What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

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What would North Korea be renamed to if it was taken over by a Scandinavian dictator?

Norse Korea

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

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Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They'd rather give each other a ring.

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Workout Jokes More Workout Jokes

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

Mike Tyson Jokes More Mike Tyson Jokes

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.