Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

Break Bad Jokes More Break Bad Jokes

Why were Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul so good in Breaking Bad?

They were meth-od acting.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did God invent shopping carts?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

Why is a gun better than a woman?

You can buy a silencer for a gun

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

Why did the boy stare at his orange juice for so long?

Because it said, Concentrate.

Fresh Print Jokes More Fresh Print Jokes

What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence?

Fresh prints.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for fresh prints.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

What to Bill Cosby and Peter Pan have in common?

Rufi-ooooooo!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Smith Jokes More Smith Jokes

What do all the Smiths in the telephone book have in common?

They all have telephones...

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.