Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

How do you juice an orange?

Play with its citorus

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between beekeeping and falconry?

Falconers have to be more talon-ted

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

Fresh Print Jokes More Fresh Print Jokes

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints!

How do you find hundreds of jokes about finding Will Smith in the snow?

Type "fresh prints" in the "search reddit" box at the right.

Cold Foot Jokes More Cold Foot Jokes

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo?

They only had two vans

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

A: In case she wanted black coffee.

Where's the best place to go if you want a little head?

The 2016 Olympics.