Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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Playstation Jokes More Playstation Jokes

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

What do you call memories of old Playstation?

Sony-stalgia

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What do you call a video of pedestrians?

A: Footage.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Thickness Jokes More Thickness Jokes

What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

Groom Jokes More Groom Jokes

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed?

Furlong

Cold Foot Jokes More Cold Foot Jokes

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why do Brides wear white?

To match the rest of the household appliances.

Smith Jokes More Smith Jokes

What do you call Will Smith's crying daughter?

A weeping Willow.

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.