Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

Why didn't the shy juggler perform at the circus today?

Because he didn't have the balls!

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin?

She quits counting.

Which one can do it?

It's the thot that counts.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

Thickness Jokes More Thickness Jokes

What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why isn't there a Jared's for boys?

Oh wait, there is.

How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

With a crowbar.

Dracula Girlfriend Jokes More Dracula Girlfriend Jokes

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

Break Bad Jokes More Break Bad Jokes

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Why were Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul so good in Breaking Bad?

They were meth-od acting.