Old Joke Jokes

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

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What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

What do you call an old joke which someone has put on r/jokes ?

A historepost.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

What is the oldest joke in the book?

The first one written

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

Why did the man who stole my crops take aspirin?

Because he had my grains

Aim Jokes More Aim Jokes

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

What's the safest place to be during a North Korean missile strike?

A: The place they are aiming at.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Reposte Jokes More Reposte Jokes

How many grains of sand are there in the world?

As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted.

What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?

Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.

Why did the BMX date the motorcycle?

He was feeling a bit bike-curious.

Favorite Joke Jokes More Favorite Joke Jokes

What's your favorite joke?

mine's Womens Rights.

What do you do when you get into a fight with a group of clowns?

Go for the juggler. This is my favorite joke that I have read on here.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know that Batman is black?

He can't go anywhere without Robin'

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener