Oppose Jokes

What do you call a world leader who white people are opposed to?

Vladimir Gluten

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What economic theory opposes manscaping?

Laissez-fur!

How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

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How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant?

When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why is she so loud?

Wife: That's how she talks. Apparently she speaks fluent pterodactyl.

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

China Jokes More China Jokes

What river separates China and India?

Answer: the Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey)

Why does China care so much about money?

They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.

Euthanasia Jokes More Euthanasia Jokes

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?

I like little asian kids

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

Why does government matter?

It doesn't.

What branch of government actually listens to the people?

What branch of government actually listens to the people?

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

Why is gambling not allowed in Africa?

Because there are too many cheetahs.