Paraplegic Jokes

What do you call someone who can't think on their feet?

A paraplegic

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What do you call a paraplegic with an incurable STD?

Roll-aids.

What's black and sits at the top of stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic?

Meals on wheels

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

What do you call a paraplegic with Ebola?

A parabola.

What do you call a fart from a paraplegic?

Inert gas.

Why are paraplegics bad project teammates?

They never carry their own weight.

What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common?

They're both only three fifths of a person

What do you call a Paraplegic runner?

A Boston Marathon Victim.

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A bodybag

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What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA?

The former has a cunning array of stunts

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

More guns!

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What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

What do you get when you cross my brain with a cat?

A cat.

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Where can you find a paraplegic man?

Right where you left him.

Why did the paraplegic man cross the road?

He couldn't

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Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

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What did the ocean say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide."

Why are white girls always tired?

Because they've literally been running around all day

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What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

What would you call a superhero with Down's Syndrome?

Ultra Downy

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What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?

Cancer