Paraplegic Jokes

What do you call someone who can't think on their feet?

A paraplegic

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What do you call a paraplegic with an incurable STD?

Roll-aids.

What's black and sits at the top of stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic?

Meals on wheels

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

What do you call a paraplegic with Ebola?

A parabola.

What do you call a fart from a paraplegic?

Inert gas.

Why are paraplegics bad project teammates?

They never carry their own weight.

What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common?

They're both only three fifths of a person

What do you call a Paraplegic runner?

A Boston Marathon Victim.

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What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

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Why does the KKK like christmas?

Because it's the one day that they have an excuse to hang coloured balls from trees.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

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Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing?

Because it had ten tickles

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Cancer...

What do you call a blonde geek with cancer?

A dumb terminal

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Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Why are paraplegics bad project teammates?

They never carry their own weight.

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Why is an Alabama divorce like a tornado?

One way or the other someone is losing a trailer.

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

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What do you call an angry paraplegic?

A steamed vegetable.

What do you call a vaping vegan?

A steamed vegetable

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How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns.

What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common?

Both will never get a college degree.

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Why does a mother carry her baby?

The baby can't carry the mother.

Why do people carry around umbrellas?

Because they can't carry themselves