Police Car Jokes

What did the police car say to the muscle car?

Torque

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What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

What the difference between a police car and a porcupine?

With a police car, the pricks are on the inside

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)

How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you call an Irishman sitting in your Backyard?

Paddy O'Furniture

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women have legs for?

To not leave a snail trail behind them.

Whats the difference between a retard and a woman?

The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

Why are frogs on the endangered species list?

Because they croak a lot!

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear?

It was a brief chase...

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they don't have 2 towers.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant?

A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.

Noise Jokes More Noise Jokes

What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around?

BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM

What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?

It's PAN-demonium!

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.