Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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Russian President Jokes More Russian President Jokes

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call a russian bull?

a moscow

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?

Shot it!

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

Elect Jokes More Elect Jokes

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

A Warehouse.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the algae end up at school?

She wanted to buy an algae bra.

When is the best time to buy budgies ?

When they're going cheap !