Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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Elect Jokes More Elect Jokes

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?

Jail-birds !

Where do magical animals go to jail?

Azkabarn

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who wins the election?

America.

Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark?

The octopus because it is well armed.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What is the difference between a banana and a bell?

You can only peel (peal) the banana once.

What did one banana say to another banana?

I find you a-peeling

2020 Jokes More 2020 Jokes

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy?

Nestle products

Minion Jokes More Minion Jokes

Where do minions shop?

Banana Republic

Who is a Minion's favorite politician?

First ever president of Zimbabwe, President Banana