Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine?

Crimea river

Radio Shack Jokes More Radio Shack Jokes

Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why didn't the President fight with the chair?

Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists.

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Brock Turner Jokes More Brock Turner Jokes

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How did the aquarium win the battle?

Giant Fish Tanks.

Who always wins at musical chairs?

Rosa Parks

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

Why do Russians like pho so much?

BECAUSE THEIR SO VIET :3

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

Why does the CPU never get any work done?

Because it gets interrupted constantly.

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot?

What's that noise?

What happend when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.