Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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Elect Jokes More Elect Jokes

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground?

No depth perception.

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

4 Year Jokes More 4 Year Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

How does it feel?

Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow "What"

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home?

Because he had too many shots.

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is the most military day of the year?

A: March 4th.

What is a bed's least favourite time of year?

Spring break.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

Why is a coin factory so logical?

Because it makes cents.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.