Standard Jokes

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

One has standards.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Why did the banjo player get into heaven?

The devil has standards.

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

You might also enjoy:

Review Jokes More Review Jokes

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour?

To get it pier reviewed.

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe?

A Serj Protector.

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

Taipei Personality Jokes More Taipei Personality Jokes

Why do Taiwanese students always do so well on their standardized tests?

They've got a Taipei personality

Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out?

Because he had a Taipei personality.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the stone say to the hill?

Let's Rock and Roll.

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Why did Hank Hill join an S&ampM club?

He heard they were Pro-Pain.

Noel Jokes More Noel Jokes

Where is the 'L' in christmas?

There is noel

What different about an American Christmas from a Spanish one?

Noel.