Weapon Jokes

What weapon does a thin pirate use?

A skinnytar.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

What should you use to make a boat explode?

A weapon of mast destruction.

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

What's are pirates favorite kind of weapon?

RRRRtillary.

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What weapons do pengiuns have?

Pen-guinades.

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

A: Canuck-chucks.

Which weapon has the least amount of drawbacks?

A bow.

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

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Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

WATAAAAAR

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Dangerous Weapon Jokes More Dangerous Weapon Jokes

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

T Rex Jokes More T Rex Jokes

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What do North Korean weapons and T-Rex's have in common?

They both can't reach really far.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Houston, TX?

Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common?

They both lose pounds really fast.

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Credit Card Jokes More Credit Card Jokes

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why Couldn't the Ancient Egyptians Build a Plane?

Because, it wasn't very Pharoah-dynamic.

Why don't mathematicians build bridges?

Because they'll never be perfect.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

What kind of tape do kidnappers use?

abDUCT tape