Weapon Jokes

What weapon does a thin pirate use?

A skinnytar.

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What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

What should you use to make a boat explode?

A weapon of mast destruction.

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

What's are pirates favorite kind of weapon?

RRRRtillary.

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What weapons do pengiuns have?

Pen-guinades.

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

A: Canuck-chucks.

Which weapon has the least amount of drawbacks?

A bow.

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

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What is a ducks drug of choice?

Quack.

What is the chupacabra's breakfast of choice?

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How did the Hispanic secret agent introduce himself?

Bondo. Jaime Bondo.

What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend?

Umami!"

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What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

What happened when the barman died?

The police held an inn-quest

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What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

Why should you keep a broken clock?

It's just nice having an extra set of hands around.

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What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

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Why do North Korean statesmen make for bad lovers?

Because they won't hold a public erection.

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What if Lady Gaga was half Irish, half Japanese?

Rady O'Gaga

Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet?

In bent-toe boxes.