Amazon Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

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What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?

You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

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What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon?

A Brazillionaire!

Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ?

Amazon of a gun !

What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

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Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas?

By spending a large fortune.

Prime Jokes More Prime Jokes

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23?

Because then he will always be in prime.

Wonder Woman Jokes More Wonder Woman Jokes

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs?

Heroine overdose

Conference Jokes More Conference Jokes

Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?

They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.

What do fishermen do at a their conferences?

Network.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Employee Jokes More Employee Jokes

Why did the gifting company fire their last employee ?

Because they got a bad wrap.

Where's the rowing boat equipment?

EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

How much do cosmetics sell for?

Face value.

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.