Crotch Jokes

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

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How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Where was the pirate when he was hit in the crotch?

Menard's!

Why did Jon Snow buy an athletic cup?

For the crotch.

How do crabs get out of hospitals?

On crotches.

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Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What's that hangin' off ye?

The pirate responds, "arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

What does a pirate call three feet?

A YAAAARRRRGGGG!! Oh look a door.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What is the most deadliest breakfast?

Ebola cereal. Note: Got it from my stepbrother who has his moments.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?

They don't believe in higher power.

What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates?

Cheapskates getting cheap skates

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

How do crabs travel cheaply?

Pubic transportation

Why does the ocean roar?

You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine?

Das Jude

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

NINE!