Film Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

a baaahhhd movie. ( )

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.

What do you call a gore thriller that can't get enough funding?

A film that needs morbids.

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

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What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What's a bridges favourite genre of film?

Suspense tion

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Which fly makes films ?

Stephen Speilbug !

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Xbox Jokes More Xbox Jokes

What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers?

Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film?

P.S. I Love You

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why does ISIS like sheep?

Is-Lamb!

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

Phrase Jokes More Phrase Jokes

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

Why did the Lebo die?

Cause he was fullllly sik m8.