Flick Jokes

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

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How many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?

No IT guys change light bulbs, they just keep flicking the switch on and off again until something happens.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?

To flick through it as fast as possible.

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Transformer Jokes More Transformer Jokes

What do you call a transformer in a canoe?

A row bot

What is Kanye's favorite Transformer?

Bruce Jenner

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

Sloth Jokes More Sloth Jokes

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"

What is a Sloth's favorite breakfast food?

Slothages.

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan?

a Rama-dana-ding-dong

What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal?

Half Calf

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Raekwon tha Chef get fired from his job at an oyster bar?

Cuz Wu Tang Clan got nuttin' to shuck with.

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What's the best way to sum up the 90's?

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do disabled people get when there's a fire in the building?

Left behind

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!