Hoof Jokes

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

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Why does a cow have hooves but not feet?

Cause they lactose.

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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Cereal Jokes More Cereal Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

How does Liam Neeson like his martini?

Taken, not stirred.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

When is a pig not quite a pig?

A: When it's oink-ognito.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do cows get when they do all their chores?

Mooney.

Where do cows like to ride on trains?

In the cow-boose.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?

If one bit you you could ride it to hospital !

Why the long face ?

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face ? Horse: because I'm a raging alcoholic.

Saint Patrick Jokes More Saint Patrick Jokes

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do Newfies want Qubec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

Saint Patrick Day Jokes More Saint Patrick Day Jokes

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.