Hoof Jokes

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

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Why does a cow have hooves but not feet?

Cause they lactose.

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

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Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

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Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

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Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

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Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?

A: They're doing research on black holes.

What did the police say when they finished interviewing Dylann Roof?

You're hired

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What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

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What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection?

Uncultured swine.

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What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot?

Normal

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

A: You get light music.

Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

Because it was a kitty fiddler.