Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

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Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

What did the maggot say to another ?

What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

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Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd?

Masterchief

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Where is potatoes?

This winter is very cold. Family is starve.

What was the problem?

ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did ISIS burn 10000 copies of "Dark Side Of The Moon"?

Because it's a terrible album.

Why did the worlds shortest feminist burn down a post shop?

Because the mail was always above her.

N Jokes More N Jokes

What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood?

Your noggin

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the German Footballer name his pet?

Schweinsteiger.

Why Are Germans Buried 20 Feet Underground?

Because deep down they're real nice

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

What do you call a belt made of paper?

A waist of paper.