Legola Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

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Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas?

Because it was a cloud

Why was the baby elf sad?

Because he was Legolas

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call a paraplegic archer?

Legolas.

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Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They'd rather give each other a ring.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

What am I, The Lord of War?

Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Which is the worst hand to lose?

The second one.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

What connects the computers in Sauron's office?

A Tolkien Ring network.

What do you call a county that lacks a modern telecommunications system?

Technologically backward" What do you call a county that lacks a fully integrated banking system? "Economically underdeveloped." What do you call a country that lacks a well-connected public transportation system? "America"

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

Why do Irish stew recipes only call for 239 beans?

Because one more, and it would be too-farty.

What's in an Irish 7 course meal?

A 6 pack and a potato.