Magic Jokes

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts. . .

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What do you call a dog who can do magic?

A labracadabrador

Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?

Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hooooooo-dini!

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Why aren't there any black magicians?

Because magic is stupid.

How did David Copperfield get HIV?

From doing Magic.

What do you call an owl who does magic?

WHO-DINI

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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What was the last pizza order made to the World Trade Center?

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What does the chicken do to get through college?

She strips.

What do a chop shop and a desperate actress have in common?

They both strip for parts!

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What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.

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How does a virgin pop her cherry?

by using a bottle opener

How do bovines do math?

They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!

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What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

Hairy Potter.

What do you call a hirsute ceramicist?

Hairy Potter

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Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?

Because they were neckromancers

Where did the witch get her furniture ?

From the ideal gnome exhibition !

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel-chair?

Roll-AIDS*

How did Magic Johnson get Aids?

By using his Magic Johnson.

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What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world?

You mean across

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.