Midwife Crisis Jokes

What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife?

A midwife crisis.

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What is it called when someone gives birth to a 40 year old man?

A midwife crisis

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital?

A midwife crisis.

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Pool Jokes More Pool Jokes

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

What do you call a cow who just gave birth?

Decalfeinated

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why are you studying your Easter candy?

I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

40 Year Old Jokes More 40 Year Old Jokes

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?

The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What is the difference between ice and dry ice ?

Dry ice lacks of water.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?

The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick The hip replacement guy.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.