Pool Jokes

How do you get 30 drunk Americans out of the pool?

Allahu Akhbarrrr"

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How do you get 30 drunk Russians out of the pool?

Put 30 crates of vodka near the pool

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

Please Get Out The Pool"

Why do people from Istanbul always swim?

Because they're constant in a pool.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

What were the French children doing in the pool?

Piscine.

What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool?

A watermeloncollie.

Why are they called dive bars?

Because they have pool

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool?

Sinko :D

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

What do you call five blondes in a pool?

Air bubbles.

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "Get out of the pool."

What do you call a horny guy in a pool?

Driftwood

This joke may have profanity.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool?

You ask them to leave.

Why are cops so bad at pool?

Because they can't resist hitting the black ball.

What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool?

CANNIBAL!!!

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do you call a pool full of details?

The specific ocean.

Why can't DJs play pool?

A: They always scratch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool?

Marco Polio

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

Howdo you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why can't a policeman win a game of pool?

Because he always shoots the black one first.

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

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How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What brand of underwear do zombies wear?

Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss

What do you call a Muslim woman wearing oculur rift or a VR headset?

Stealth Bomber

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

7 tees, 30 eggs

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

What is she doing?

the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference from a terrorist and a psychopath?

A llahu akbar

What's the difference between a radish and a beet?

I've never radished off to OP's mom.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend?

Because...bros before hose!

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Penny Jokes More Penny Jokes

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny ...