Penny Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

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Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny ...

What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common?

They're both useless in Canada.

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?

Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.

Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde?

Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

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Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

What did Sheldon say to Penny?

BaZINCa!!

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

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Terror wrists.

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Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?

A school bus full of black people driving off a cliff

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Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Walmart Jokes More Walmart Jokes

Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?

Because they are all Targets.

Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart?

because its not a Target.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is a coin factory so logical?

Because it makes cents.

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

Why was the man allergic to Christmas?

Because it's the reason for the sneason.

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!