Mute Jokes

What do you call an Italian with two broken hands?

Mute

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How do mute people tell each others secrets?

They put on mittens.

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

What did the mute say to the priest?

Nothing

What do you call an Italian man without arms?

A mute. Sorry if repost.

What's the best part about being a mute?

It goes without saying...

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute

How do you mute an Italian?

Tie up their hands.

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

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What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

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Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

Why do intersecting lines hate each other?

Because they do nothing except making themselves cross.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

To understand what recursion is...

You must first understand what recursion is

How are your English lessons coming along?

Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bees get you high?

Doo-bees... I'm so sorry for that

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

Deaf Guy Jokes More Deaf Guy Jokes

How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.

What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?

I can't hear you, but I can see your point

Good Girlfriend Jokes More Good Girlfriend Jokes

Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend?

Because its not a cheetah.

Why is a mute girl the best girlfriend?

They can't say no.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?

Fancy a bite

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."