Nascar Jokes

How did NASCAR get that name?

Redneck: 'That's nascar ye got there."

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What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?

They both love The Wall

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

What do white guys do that lasts hours and makes white women scream?

NASCAR

What is Zoolander's least favourite sport?

Nascar If you can even call it a sport.

What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common?

They're both filled with white trash. -&y

Why is NASCAR so popular in the southern states?

Because that's where the most racists are.

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

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What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

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Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What does it take to finish a race?

More than a Holocaust

Which race is the most racist?

The human one.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the best part of having a kid?

The chewy center.

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?

He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

Derive Jokes More Derive Jokes

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How do beer companies track their sales?

On dos axes

What does train tracks and breast have in common?

They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams "REPOST"

How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.

Pitbull Jokes More Pitbull Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

What is the difference between a pitbull and a Golden Retriever?

A Golden Retriever can sing better.