Nascar Jokes

How did NASCAR get that name?

Redneck: 'That's nascar ye got there."

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What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?

They both love The Wall

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

What do white guys do that lasts hours and makes white women scream?

NASCAR

What is Zoolander's least favourite sport?

Nascar If you can even call it a sport.

What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common?

They're both filled with white trash. -&y

Why is NASCAR so popular in the southern states?

Because that's where the most racists are.

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

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What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

Zoolander Jokes More Zoolander Jokes

What is Zoolander's least favourite sport?

Nascar If you can even call it a sport.

What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure?

Zoolander

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr have in common?

Each of their last big hits was the wall.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

Why hasn't Joe entered the race yet?

He's just Biden his time.

Nascar Driver Jokes More Nascar Driver Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

What's the best part of growing up in Compton?

No bad dad jokes.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.