Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

What do you get when you cut an Avocado into 6.02 x 1023 pieces?

a guacaMOLE

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why is it that arms tell the funniest jokes?

Because they are humerus

Crip Jokes More Crip Jokes

What do you call a cholo with one leg shorter than the other?

A Crip

What do you a paralyzed gangster?

A crip.

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?

Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.

What do you call a paralyzed clown with his tongue cut out?

BEST MIME EVER!

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?

HIGH-SIS

What do you call a group of sorority girls?

A whorde.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Who has to always be on there toes?

A midget at a urinal.

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.