Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

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Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of scientologist almonds?

Nuts.

Why do blonde girls go to the bathroom in groups of three?

Because they can't even

Crip Jokes More Crip Jokes

What do you call a cholo with one leg shorter than the other?

A Crip

What do you a paralyzed gangster?

A crip.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6.02 * 1023 pieces?

Guacamole.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other?

A Speech Impediment :)

Why is it that arms tell the funniest jokes?

Because they are humerus

Waist Jokes More Waist Jokes

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

Kryptonite Jokes More Kryptonite Jokes

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman