Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

What was Superman's first job?

A Clark.

Which gun does Superman use?

SCAR-L

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

Why do girls always walk in groups of odd numbers?

Because they can't even...

What do you call a group of scientologist almonds?

Nuts.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why can't women ski?

there's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?

A: He was looking for a Czech mate.

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What do ghosts like about riding horses?

Ghoulloping.

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper