Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza?

Little Caesars

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x1023 pieces?

Guacamole.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

Kryptonite Jokes More Kryptonite Jokes

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?

Michael Jackson

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

Why did the horse fail German?

Because he could only say, "neighn!"

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What do you call a woman with her tongue out?

A lesbian with a hard on.

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

Why doesn't Superman watch Game of thrones?

Because he has a LED-TV.

What do you call the smallest Superman in the world?

Quark Kent.