Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman

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Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What is a drill team?

A group of dentists who work together.

What's the difference between a group of midget engineers and a women's track team?

One is a group of cunning runts...

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do bears and women from Arkansas have in common?

They can't stop licking their paws.

Why are men better cooks than women?

Because with a sausage, a couple of eggs, and some cream, a man can keep a woman full for 9 months.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ?

Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What do you call a woman with her tongue out?

A lesbian with a hard on.

What is a lesbians favorite type of woodworking joint?

Tongue and groove

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions?

A gallop poll.

What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy?

Because the Mummy's always saying, "I'll be in the crypt tonight."

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze superman