Martial Art Jokes

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells.

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What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What do you call martial arts for cows?

Mooey Thai.

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

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What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon?

He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What do you call an arab who wants to be European yet keeps practicing his beloved religion, islam?

A turk.

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

Chan Jokes More Chan Jokes

How many chans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lulz!!! etc etc etc :-D

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Call a toe truck.

What did the goldsmith say when he stubbed his toe?

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Whats the difference between Love and Herpes?

Your mother didn't give you love.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

Where do birds invest their money ?

In the stork market !

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Punch: Because they are already "in the skies". Thank you, I'll see myself out.

Jiu Jitsu Jokes More Jiu Jitsu Jokes

What is the famous martial art of Israel?

Jiu-Jitsu

What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know?

Jiu Jitsu.