Partner Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

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How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What do you do if your partner starts smoking?

Slow down. Use lube.

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

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How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Where do holy men sleep?

Monk beds.

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

Why do software developers make the best relationship partners?

because they're not afraid of committing.

How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony?

smh

George Michael Jokes More George Michael Jokes

What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?

Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Unwrap Jokes More Unwrap Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

Why do Mexicans make burritos?

So they can unwrap something for Christmas!

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?

A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Hawaii Jokes More Hawaii Jokes

What does Captain Falcon drink in Hawaii?

PUNCH!

What did the hungry terrorist say when he went on a vacation to Hawaii?

ALOHA SNACKBAR***

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.