Partner Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What do you do if your partner starts smoking?

Slow down. Use lube.

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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What does a woman and KFC have in common?

By the time youre finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

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What do you call a software developer who's also a gynecologist?

Front-end

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their Cache

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Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis (If you don't get it, say it slower.)

How did the psychiatrist break his leg?

He had a Freudian slip.

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Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

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What do you say to a man with a broken lizard?

Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.

What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman?

He parks his car, man.

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Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

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Why shouldn't you be racist?

Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra