Personal Question Jokes

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

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Phrase Jokes More Phrase Jokes

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?

None of them like pork.

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank?

A four chin teller

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

Why did the Skeleton cross the road?

Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop.

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair?

The blonde sure doesn't know.

What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team?

unfazed*

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

Why didn't the monk's clothes fit properly?

Because he was cohabiting.

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag ?

You take the "F" out of way.

Kgb Jokes More Kgb Jokes

Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?

A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.