Regret Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an unwanted baby?

One's a rugrat, the other's a regret.

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What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?

They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What's the difference ?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

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Du Jokes More Du Jokes

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the liquor trader arrested?

Because he was in cider trading

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the racist surfer say when asked about hanging a black man?

Hang ten dude!!

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college? Teacher: So we can get a high paying job Student: Why do we need a high paying job Teacher: So we can get lots of money Student: Why do we need lots of money Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Organism Jokes More Organism Jokes

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism "Fungus"?

Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Who came up with hugs?

The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing Why are you holding me " "Just trust me."

Who came after Augustus?

Septembrus

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water?

Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.

What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common?

It's just so hard to pull out.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist?

art

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond