Revolution Jokes

What is the favorite scientific unit of the French?

RPM ( Revolutions Per Minute )

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Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?

He was following the Tsar.

How do Communists achieve a revolution every single year?

They planet!

Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations?

Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?

A: They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

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How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

CHANGE !

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

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How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

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What does Lenin say when he his angry?

I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.

Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

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How do Communists achieve a revolution every single year?

They planet!

What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun?

One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife.

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How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

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What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

Why does lightning strike in France so often?

Because it follows the path of least resistance.

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What do peasants do in their spare time?

They serf

What did the peasant say when he went surfing in the Russian Revolution?

Serf's up!

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What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

How long is a submarine?

No, How Long is a Chinaman.