Server Jokes

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

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Why is Steam called Steam?

Because the servers are always steaming hot

What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit?

At Olive Garden the servers actually work.

Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business?

All of its servers were busy

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

Why does the food take so long at an Internet cafe?

Because the servers cannot be found

Why did the Japanese American bring his server with him?

He thought they said internet camp

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, it's not my side work.

Why is the customer service at the Reddit Restaurant so terrible?

Because all of the servers are busy.

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Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?

D--Dos

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One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.

What happens when Peter Pan tries to throws punches?

They Neverland.

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What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China?

Pollution.

Why did the water turn into steam?

It mistbehaved

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Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.

Why was the web server down?

Mary Jane dumped him.

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Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

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How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

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What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

I need two hands to remove training wheels.

What did the /r/science mod say to the user?

removed

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What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

How fast can you hack into the system!?

20-25 minutes." "You've got 10 minutes!" "Okay, well then I can't." - real life spy dialogues

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How can you make a slow horse fast?

Don't give him any food.

What do dark humour and food have in common?

Only some people get it.