Spanish Inquisition Jokes

What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

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What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

What did Tony the Tiger say to the kids playing baseball?

Theeeeeeeeey Never expect the Spanish Inquisition!"

What's the best time of day?

The Spanish Inquisition. . . . . . Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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What kind of money do religious businesses make?

Prophet.

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Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ?

He had a bee in his suit of armour !

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

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What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

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How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

What runs all day but never gets tired?

Water.

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Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?

So he was ribbit for her pleasure.

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What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

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Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

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How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What do I have to do?

F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.