Suit Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise."

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The defendant."

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?

The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants

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What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?

Attire.

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ?

He had a bee in his suit of armour !

What is iron man without his suit?

Stark naked.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A: A buzzness suit!

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent."

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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Court Jokes More Court Jokes

Who's there ! Althea ! Althea who ?

Althea in court!

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia?

M'otherland"

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What N word do you not want to call a black man?

Neighbor

What do you call a black man with no arms or legs?

TRUSTWORTHY!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem , He sleeps at night.

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts?

Drops it like it's hot.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers?

He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...

How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

Tortoise Jokes More Tortoise Jokes

How is Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hair...

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Where do turkeys go to have a good time?

The Turkey Club