Tomatoe Jokes

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

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What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.

What's red and not there?

No tomatoes.

What's red and invisible at the same time?

No tomatoes.

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Tomato Blush Jokes More Tomato Blush Jokes

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears?

The cue tip.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

When Pavlov was done with his experiments what did he do with his dogs?

Donate them to the salivation army I'llseemyselfout

What did 15 of my former dogs and the intruder have in common?

They were delicious.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is cowhide mostly used for?

Keeping cows from falling apart.

What's the fastest way to make your trousers fall down?

Lusain Belt

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

A-tyre

What's the difference between a well dressed bicyclist and a poorly dressed unicyclist?

Attire.

Ability Jokes More Ability Jokes

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Haloumi!