Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy"

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

A: Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What can an elevator do that a black man can't?

Raise a family.

What did the escalator say to the elevator?

Nothing, he just staired.

Ability Jokes More Ability Jokes

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

Why would John F. Kennedy make a horrible boxer?

Because he can't take a shot to the head.

Tomato Sauce Jokes More Tomato Sauce Jokes

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

What do you call chow mein cooked in tomato sauce?

impasta

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if pigs went on strike?

They'd form pigget lines.

What happens if you sing country music backwards?

A: You get your job and your wife back.

Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

Why did the air freshener company go out of business?

Because they lacked common scents...

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why can't you run in a campground?

Because you ran: It's past tents. I'll show myself out.

Why are you running like that?

He answered, "Because you're coming home early."