Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy"

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

A: Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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What happened to the octopus in the football game?

He had tentackles.

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time? Urine-nation!

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

Tomato Sauce Jokes More Tomato Sauce Jokes

What do you call chow mein cooked in tomato sauce?

impasta

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

Run Race Jokes More Run Race Jokes

Why do black people always finish first in a running race?

There's a KFC at the end of the finish line.

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Vine Jokes More Vine Jokes

Why were the German tomatoes drunk?

Because they'd been on the vine.

Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

What's your costume?

Me: I'm dressed as "A total disappointment" Friend: But you always wear that Me: Yeah.

Spank Jokes More Spank Jokes

What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What do you mean you're not going to spank me?

I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you