Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy"

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

A: Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Corn Jokes More Corn Jokes

Why does the corn hate the farmer?

Because he picks his ears!

What do you call corn that joins the army?

Kernel.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line!

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?

Jail break.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

What do you call a man with a colander on his head?

COLIN! Duh!!!

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

Why do the bees have honey?

Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.

Why does everybody love honey?

Because it never gets old.

Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer?

Neverland Ranch.

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

Where do epileptics get pizza?

Little Seizures.

What do people and pizza have in common?

If they're black, they can't feed a family.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Who i am?

Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am Boy: Good (Walks Away)

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K . Rowling