Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy"

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

A: Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together?

Poverty.

Ability Jokes More Ability Jokes

What is horse sense?

Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!

What do you call a quote with inhuman like abilities?

A Super Saying

Spank Jokes More Spank Jokes

What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What do you mean you're not going to spank me?

I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you

Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What's tall, white and has ears?

A mountain.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!" I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

Why don't you transport onions by boat?

You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head &amp Shoulders on the beach