Transplant Jokes

What did the tree say while it was being transplanted?

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!

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What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery?

A transplant

What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything?

Transplants

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?

A: They've had little use.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is

What is the scariest thing about a white man in jail?

you know he did it.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What's the difference between a sperm and a racist?

A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being.

What does a sperm cell have in common with a lawyer?

Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Jay Z Jokes More Jay Z Jokes

Why did jay z cross the road?

Because mr mantis ate my skunk food.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonc

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did god invent patchouli?

So blind people can hate hippies too.

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

Cough Jokes More Cough Jokes

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

What does a South American say after someone sneezes?

Belize you.

What do you say when God sneezes?

Go bless yourself.

Qualify Jokes More Qualify Jokes

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

What qualifies as a "short stack" of pancakes?

I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right Yes Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack.