Transplant Jokes

What did the tree say while it was being transplanted?

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!

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What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery?

A transplant

What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything?

Transplants

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?

A: They've had little use.

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Who is jay?

and why are they always mocking him

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonc

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What qualifies as a "short stack" of pancakes?

I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right Yes Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack.

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed?

Inception

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Who is saved?

America

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Why did Vietnam revolt against the French?

Because they knew they would Nguyen.

How do we know that Batman is black?

He can't go anywhere without Robin'

Cough Jokes More Cough Jokes

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?

It's counterproductive

Whats the only bad thing about head from an anorexic girl?

She won't swallow

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How can you tell when a German is joking?

Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...