Napoleon Jokes

Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?

He didn't have any ligaments

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What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?

His horse Marengo

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?

It's too complex

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

Which real-life dictator was the most fun?

Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

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What did Napoleon have up his sleevies?

His armies!

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?

For his armies

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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He uses a hans free device

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

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What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

Why cant you make fun of Chinese people?

Because its just wong

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What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

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What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?

Tsardines !

Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?

He was following the Tsar.

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Who ruled France until he exploded?

A: Napoleon Blownapart!

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

Qualify Jokes More Qualify Jokes

What qualifies as a "short stack" of pancakes?

I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right Yes Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack.

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

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Why is that my son?

Son: Because...Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud

What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

Get out of my son!"

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Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?

It was won by a hare!