Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called?

A *paradox.*

Why does John Cena set his alarm at 1:59?

So he can kick out at 2.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea?

It runs in his jeans.

Telephone Jokes More Telephone Jokes

What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ?

A lot of crackling on the line !

How do Iranians speak on the telephone?

Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).

Delay Jokes More Delay Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Obesity Jokes More Obesity Jokes

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

What's the biggest city in the United States?

Obesity

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the blind driver have no hands?

He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How does a women make you a millionaire?

You start as a billionaire

Why do women like men with moustaches?

Because they immediately see something about you they can change.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who is Bobby Long?

and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him.

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs