Wrinkly Jokes

What is the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

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What's pink, wrinkly, hairy, smells of pee, and hangs out you boxers?

Either your mum, your wife or you.

Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly?

Because if they were small round and white they would be aspirins.

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Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes?

Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

Belong Jokes More Belong Jokes

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

NA'CHO CHEESE

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Rhinoceros Jokes More Rhinoceros Jokes

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Hell-if-I-know

What is a crossbreed between an elephant and a rhinoceros called?

I don't know, but it isn't !

Aspirin Jokes More Aspirin Jokes

Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly?

Because if they were small round and white they would be aspirins.

Why are aspirins white?

Because they work.

Grandpa Jokes More Grandpa Jokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

Pervert Jokes More Pervert Jokes

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)