18 Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

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What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A: A baseball team

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer?

Woofleball

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What's the best part about golf?

It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

How many syllables does the word "Gloria" have?

CATHOLICS: 18

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

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How are 6 women like a golf course?

NSFW 18 holes

This joke may have profanity.

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18 Inch Jokes More 18 Inch Jokes

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Johnny Jokes More Johnny Jokes

What do you get when you cross Johnny Depp with Nicolas Cage?

Johnny Cage

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A: No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

What do these 2 have in common What does your mum and a politician have in common?

When they scream they make no sense

Golf Course Jokes More Golf Course Jokes

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.