Accelerate Jokes

What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

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What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

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Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What type of dog leaves a mark?

shar pei

What's the difference between a fox and a dog?

About 7 beers.

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Object Jokes More Object Jokes

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tie does a pig wear ?

Pig's tie !

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer?

None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.

Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car?

Because she's a woman.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What would romantic living dead movie be called?

Zombaes

Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River