Object Jokes

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

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What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

How does a frog fasten two objects together?

Rivets.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

Review Jokes More Review Jokes

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many people from rio does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian. Saw this joke elsewhere and thought i'd share it here.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Attila Jokes More Attila Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

Wright Jokes More Wright Jokes

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Why wasn't the aeroplane invented in China?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.