Submarine Jokes

What is hard, long, and full of seamen?

A submarine

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What do fish call a submarine?

Unidentified Floating Object

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

A submarine.

What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine?

They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.

What's long and hard and full of "SEE-MEN"?

A submarine, obviously.

What do you call an underwater masochist?

A submarine!

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

How long is a submarine?

No, How Long is a Chinaman.

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What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

What do you call a dog riding in a submarine?

A subwoofer.

What did the sardine call the submarine ?

A can of people !

What's the difference between a baby and a submarine?

I've never been in a submarine.

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

How can you tell a Belgian in a submarine?

He's the one with a parachute on his back.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it?

You knock on the door.

How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?

A bee in a submarine !

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?

A: Knock on the door.

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Do I hand my life in

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How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work.

How long is a submarine?

No, How Long is a Chinaman.

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How do you sink a Swedish submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?

Bless you!

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What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

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What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine?

They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.

What's big and round and full of seamen?

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a French girl?

You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?

A knife has a point.