Israeli Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

What do you call the Israeli PM when he switches search engines?

Benjamin Netangoogle

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine?

Das Jude

Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports?

Because all the replays are in shlomo.

What do you call an Israeli rooster?

A koke.

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

What's an Israeli ghetto called?

Palestine.

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What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!

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Palestinians Jokes More Palestinians Jokes

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

Why do Palestinians have faster computers than Israelis?

They have RAMallah.

Israelite Jokes More Israelite Jokes

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.

West Bank Jokes More West Bank Jokes

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

Palestine Jokes More Palestine Jokes

Why are computers in Palestine really fast?

Because they've got Ramallah.

What's an Israeli ghetto called?

Palestine.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are some flowers gangsta ?

Cause they carry pistils.

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

What is a politician's favorite kind of tea?

Infideli-tea.

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

Reality. I'll show myself out now...

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How to make your ears pop?

Try some sparkly earrings.

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater