Offer Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series?

So they could Starmie.

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's the difference between an Hawaiin and a Muslim ?

One always offer a snack bar after saying hello

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

An offer you can't understand.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center?

None. They're old school.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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How long were you at your last job?

A: "Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"

What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job?

A Defective!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Israeli Jokes More Israeli Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

What is, aside from being rubber, the similarity between an old car tire and 365 used condoms?

It was a Good Year...

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What did Muhammad Ali tell ISIS?

IsIs Pretty soon y'all gonna be WasWas !

What is ISIS's favorite candy bar?

Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why do Russians always wear track suits?

Because they are always RUSSIAN to places. thanks

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.