Offer Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series?

So they could Starmie.

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's the difference between an Hawaiin and a Muslim ?

One always offer a snack bar after saying hello

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

An offer you can't understand.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center?

None. They're old school.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

Baked Yazidi

What's ISIS's favorite Country Band?

Allahbama

1001 1 Jokes More 1001 1 Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

Quarter-pounder with cheese

What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

Camenbert

Israelite Jokes More Israelite Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Coldplay members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.

Role Jokes More Role Jokes

What do you give an actor playing the role of an angry street gang member?

Mad props...

Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series?

So they could Starmie.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

A: Wheeee!

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes