Offer Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series?

So they could Starmie.

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's the difference between an Hawaiin and a Muslim ?

One always offer a snack bar after saying hello

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

An offer you can't understand.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center?

None. They're old school.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

What is, aside from being rubber, the similarity between an old car tire and 365 used condoms?

It was a Good Year...

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home?

Get in the Karma.

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?

If one bit you you could ride it to hospital !

What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

Why is Quicksilver so fast?

Because he's Russian