Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why are envelopes and papers white?

Because blackmail is illegal.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

envelope

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

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What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

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What's the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*

What makes you qualified for this job?

Me: Because i work for less and good at licking. Mgmt: You're hired.

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Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

What do you do if you see a blue banana?

Try to cheer it up.

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What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates?

Cheapskates getting cheap skates

What do you call a bunch of cats sitting in a circle?

The purr-rimiter.

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What type of luggage talks in short sentences?

A brief case

What's so lame about a duck President?

Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!

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What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

What do you call a Canadian group of racists?

The Ku Kanux Klan.

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What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail?

That's the end of me!"

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!