Amnesia Jokes

What's the difference between amnesia and alzheimers?

I can't remember.

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What does amnesia mean?

Someone told me but I forgot.

What did Groot say when he had amnesia?

Am I Groot? (Credit to my 7year old son)

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

What are the symptoms of amnesia?

I can't remember

How do you know if you have amnesia?

I don't know.

How does someone with amnesia tell a joke?

I don't remember.

What do you get from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia!

What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

Oh shoot, I forgot...

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What happened to the fish?

Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

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What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

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Why can't a policeman win a game of pool?

Because he always shoots the black one first.

Why did Bowie die?

I guess he was shot through the heart

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Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

Why did the 3 men go in to the bar?

To get drunk

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What's the difference between white students and black students?

Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?

Because they carry guns instead

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What did Groot say when he had amnesia?

Am I Groot? (Credit to my 7year old son)

What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa?

A Giving Christmas Tree

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Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What's the worst thing about living with Alzheimer's?

I forgot

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What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.