Ashe Jokes

How Do Priests Get High?

Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

What's the best way to dispose of bodies?

Put the ashes in the donuts.

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Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

for disturbing the peas!

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters?

A Kylo Ren Book

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket filled with manure?

The bucket

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What's the favorite dairy product of Wall Street executives?

1% milk

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

so we can both sound useless.

Trap Jokes More Trap Jokes

What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm?

A Thundeer

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!