Wednesday Jokes

How Do Priests Get High?

Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...

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Why wasn't the coup in Turkey on Wednesday?

Erdogan's suit wasn't back from the cleaners.

What is Mr. T's nickname for Wednesday?

A: Chump day.

What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console?

Wednesday

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?

Because Wednesday is hump day.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

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Late Man Jokes More Late Man Jokes

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch?

The cold shoulder

What do cows do on Sundays?

they go to the moovies

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

Coup Jokes More Coup Jokes

How did colonel Sanders take over the chicken market?

A coup.

Where does a Turkey live?

A coup.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What is a world series?

I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

Tuesday Jokes More Tuesday Jokes

When's ladies' night at the Mexican restaurant?

Taco Tuesday

Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?

Because Yogurt Tastes Better" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.