Bald Jokes

What do you call a blonde, balding teenager?

Leukemia Skywalker.

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What do you call a balding Native American?

A patchy..

What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

What did the court jester call the balding crown prince?

The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

What did the balding thief say in the wig store?

Toupee or not toupee

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ?

When your bald !

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

What do 50 cent hot dogs have in common with lumber?

Two buy four.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

What Would Justin Bieber Do?

scream like a little girl, grab nonexistent testicles & run away awkwardly.

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that?

Now it would be for the prescriptions.

How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group?

They cut a head

Paraplegic Jokes More Paraplegic Jokes

What do you call a Paraplegic runner?

A Boston Marathon Victim.

What's black and sits at the top of stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

Comb Jokes More Comb Jokes

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Mute Jokes More Mute Jokes

What do you call an Italian with two broken hands?

Mute

How do you mute an Italian?

Tie up their hands.