Bald Jokes

What do you call a blonde, balding teenager?

Leukemia Skywalker.

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What do you call a balding Native American?

A patchy..

What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

What did the court jester call the balding crown prince?

The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

What did the balding thief say in the wig store?

Toupee or not toupee

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ?

When your bald !

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Why will we never know if Rick James was bald?

Rogaine is a hell of a drug.

Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine?

To cover up his bald spot.

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Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy?

A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!

How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces?

Fabric softener.

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Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

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Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

Mute Jokes More Mute Jokes

How do you mute an Italian?

Tie up their hands.

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair?

Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.

Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

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Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?

He was selling ill-eagle drugs.

What's the difference between a Bald Eagle and an American?

The Bald Eagle is free c:

Herr Jokes More Herr Jokes

What do you call a German physician who specializes in the epidermis of the scalp?

Herr Doctor.

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!